I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. And yes that is what you all have been smelling (hehe). I have been thinking of whether I should keep doing this blog. I wonder what it does for me. What it does for you. What it does in general. It's like a diary, that i share. Keeps me seeing what i was feeling a year ago... where I was. But really, is it worth it? I guess it does get stuff off my chest and that is good.
I have noticed the usual cyclical elements of people lately. My boss is up to his usual things again. I am just tired of it. I can almost point to a calendar and point out the times he goes through his certain freak outs and then I have to deal with it. I am also noticing it with friends as well. I see how she is dealing with her life and her husband's and I am at the point where i am fed up reading about it. It hurts me to watch her do the same things over and over. And i know she wouldn't listen if I told her. She'd just say I wouldn't understand cause i am not going through it. She has moved away from the person I knew to some totally other person that i am not too fond of. It's sad. I just wish she'd read back at what she writes and notice what I am saying now. And i know she's not reading this any more... so she won't even know what i am thinking. I am sorry.
I am tired of these circles. I want to move in a straight line. I want to plow ahead and keep my focus. Yes, it is fine to revisit themes and improve on them, but I can't dwell. I have plans and I am doing something about it. Today i am meeting up with local bar to see about having a show there. I found a thing online where they were looking for local artists. So i figure, with my looking forward mentality, that I should reply. I sent some work to show him and I got a response. He was interested in meeting, so that is exciting. It will also get my ass in gear to be productive. I worked on a piece this weekend and made some good progress. I am very excited about it and have an end in sight. So that is good. I also have some other ideas I want to start on, but not until this one is finished. The other ones are smaller and more manageable, so i can sell them at lower cost as well. That was another goal of mine. To make my work affordable.
This weekend I am going with WFMU to do a live feed. This time i will not be behind the board, but at the venue learning this end of things. This will also be another good opportunity for me to show that I am a team player and have a vested interest in the station. So we shall see. I was really proud of my little blurb I say at the end of the show I work on this week and it made me hungry for more air time. I should manifest this into doing another podcast.
Well I would love feedback and opinions. Let me know what you think of me doing this or not. Thanks.
2 comments:
If you stop writing on your blog who knows what ramifications will happen. First it may spiral me into a deep dark depression which I won't be able to handle without the use of ....... also, you are making great strides into things you love doing. You would be a fool not to chronicle what may be the beginning of your miracle. And, if times get real bad, real real bad, economy wise, I sure would like to hear what's going on in your world.
don't let other's stop you. They might be stuck in a circular pattern, but you are certainly not.
Your blog buddie and friend,
Frankie
Hi SA,
I have really enjoyed getting to know you from your blog. I know we have known each other since high school but it is hard to know what is really going on with someone unless you interact with them on a daily basis. The blog allows for some of for which I am very grateful. Your words and thoughts often inspire me to have courage and to persevere in all of my endeavours.
No matter what you do, I want to thank you for writing.
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