Another day sitting here...

I am sitting here in TekServe, waiting for my laptop to get fixed. For some reason my laptop decides to just shut down on me. That is annoying. I may be in the middle of doing something important and BAM! all gone. So frustrating. So i sit here waiting for them to call out green ticket 47. it's like waiting for the lottery.

The funny thing is looking around at my fellow Mac users in NYC and it makes me realize how young this city is. I don't mean in the length of people living here, or our country, but the actual people. This is also because of where i hang out too. But looking around at my fellow peers, I see people of all ages and yet they are ageless. I am going to try to explain this. It is rather difficult as it is something I have been feeling for a bit now.

First off, I am 34 years old. I don't feel that old. I don't feel old except when i hurt from working out or my body doesn't want me to move a certain way when i do. I dress young, I feel young... the music i listen to is young. I even think i look young. I go to visit friends or go outside this area and notice people around me that are my same age and surprise myself. For example, I when i went to Panama, I met a woman from a native tribe. I was speaking to her in my broken spanish about our ages. I asked her how old she was and she told me she was 26. She had 3 children already. Granted, she was already married by the age of 15. She then asks me how old i am and i try to remember how to say it in spanish. I tell her and she is surprised. She was shocked that I was that old. Said i didn't look it at all, thinking i was in my twenties like her. I joked saying no kids!, as though that was my fountain of youth.

So is that? is that part of what makes me young? I see friends with kids and i feel like they get instantly older. Is it my surroundings? Does staying around hip urban people help in keeping me up to date with the culture and keeps me youthful? Is it my mind set? Keeping a youthful mind helps as well.

My brother, who is ten years older than me, is youthful as well. I don't think of him as old. I see him as an equal too. He has the same style and interests as me. He lives in a city and has lived in cities since he could. Granted, he's graying around the edges and there are some things he feels too old to do, but that is rare. Maybe I just don't see age anymore. I am friends with people of all ages, so that may be part of it.

I must say i don't feel like i am in my early 20's. I used to think that i could be college age, but i have realized that A) I totally don't fit in that category and B) I don't WANT to be in the same group as them. I don't feel the same as them. I see myself as wiser and not willing to do the stupid stuff they do, but at the same time when i was their age, I didn't do that shit either.

So I don't know what this fountain of youth is. I just find it interesting that I fall in the end of Douglas Coupland's Generation X, and yes i read the book so I know how to FULLY reference that correctly damn it. I hated when media used that term flippantly. I do feel like i am never sure what i am doing and am not content to stay doing something i don't want to do. I also can't stay at a job forever or see myself anywhere for a long time. Is my nomadic feeling part of that too?