Looking Back in Time

I was reading Frankie's blog about old friends and Facebook and it has gotten my mind thinking lately. Like most people, I have Facebook. It took me a LONG time to get it. I thought it was for kids in high school now. And if it was for school in general, I had been out long enough to not need it. I was in contact with the people I wanted to be from then. But alas I was sent an invite and there I was. The funny thing is that I have searched out no one really. Most have found me and I have become surprised at who has.

Let me explain high school from my eyes. I was the arty girl that would have been the weird or freak of the school. I didn't follow normal trends and hung out with the other arty/ punk/ indie/ skater before it was cool crowd. Kids now make fun of the emo and goth kids ( like the goth kids in south park). I was one with them smoking my clove cigarettes, hanging out at Denny's or Friendly's, wearing my thrift store clothes with a Smiths t-shirt and a pair of creepers or DM's. Got a good mental image? I didn't participate in school shit. When I graduated high school 17 years ago, we as a class didn't give a shit if we saw each other again.

So the surprise that people were interested in what I was up to was a surprise. I mean it's not like I was really interested in what became of them. I would have random wonders, but that was it. I would get random rumors from my friends about who they ran into and it would be rather caddy- you won't believe what they look like or she has 4 kids!

Now I get requests and I have to ask some friends who that person is. What is scary is that I am getting interested in what they are up to. Before I never went to a reunion cause I didn't want to see them or explain my life or why I have no kids. I still don't fit in that mold but now I am content in that. I don't want that life. I am happy looking at their pics and seeing what I am "missing".

Now I know that I have too much access to Facebook. I can see updates on my phone. I am obsessed to see what mousy girl is now an avid traveler and who came out of the closet. I enjoy seeing who contacts me as a friend. I like seeing who was curious enough about my life to look me up. I secretly wish the guy who I had a major crush on would look me up. My friend here, Izimbra, knew me then and now. I know she tried to swear off Facebook, but she was drawn back. It is a drug. I agree. But at least it's a safe one and just filled with gossip and a brief glimpse into their lives without having to have a conversation.